My goal was to keep this blog clean. Only post precise, short posts. Take the most important part of longer stuff. Tumble the conclusions. But today I feel like writing. I should revive my 750words account for that which reminds me from time to time to write more. Somehow I feel like sharing.
I stopped blogging regularly about one or two years ago. That sucks. It was such a great part of my life and I enjoyed nearly every minute of it. Through it got in contact with the most amazing people I know. The important posts weren’t the big ones where I explained complex topics or summarized even bigger things. The small ones. Those that not everyone noticed were important. People had the possibility to know what I do and feel without ever meeting me. Nobody knew me as a whole but not even me myself is capable of that. I believe we are all more than only one. We have many faces and masks. Trying to put it into one is pointless. And stupid.
I enjoyed being that little boy who explored the world around him. No expectations. Every time someone put me in front of a crowd and introduced me as someone how understood something a little part of that innocence died. I am no trying to bring it back. I am no superstar (that was a joke. really.), neither do I know much about anything. I love to listen and to read. I get lost in discussions about certain topics. Exploring them with people I admire is an amazing experience. Writing down my thoughts is what makes me happy. People who like what I write or get curious about the things. Meeting a reader or a stranger and talking until late at night. The feeling when the words just come and don’t need to be forced.
My english didn’t improve that much. But I feel much better with what it is. You shouldn’t be to strict about everything. Improving is great but never let it be the main goal. Do stuff you like. My new philosophy is to make things work and move on. Improving is boring. There are people who enjoy the difference of some percents. I don’t. I can’t sleep until the little wheel goes round. But after that point my interest fades away and I find a new project.
There are some people I call friends. Not all of them see me in the same way. That’s ok. I admire them and feel close. There are others which are something like a peer group. I am not sure about most of them. There is a big gap between our mindsets and goals. From time to time I think I need someone with whom I can talk about all the stuff in my head. But that person doesn’t exist. Because it’s you. Not particularly you but you as a reader. You as someone I don’t know. Or at least not all of you. I can open myself up and my mind combines the dots while writing. It feels so good. I can’t really describe it. But it is the same feeling I had years ago when I blogged daily. Can’t really imagine it was while high school. Now I got my own startup. A bachelor degree if I finally finish that work and write another two or three tests. Moved in with my girlfriend. Such a wonderful women. I enjoy every moment with her.